Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 1 (script)
The following is unedited from the original document except for formatting. Lines may have been rewritten during recording and/or editing. Script Narrator: *Original clip* "In the skies above the suburbs of modern-day Jap-" *massive electrical interference like a TV going haywire* Kululu: *Maniacal Laughter* *images of the original first two episodes disappearing, Dr Squid theme plays briefly* Distant voice: "Incoming message from The Big Giant-!" Keroro: Agh! Oh... hehe, I gotta stop sleeping on the *shows Fuyuki and Natsumi staring* fuck my ass. *Cuts to him immediately tied up* Natsumi: *Bossy* Alright, let’s get this over with. Who and what are you? Keroro: Uh, I’m Keroro. I’m the house inspector… Good house. Fuyuki: You look more like a house maid. Natsumi: *Slightly pissy* Don’t engage it in conversation! Fuyuki: It’s a talking frog! Keroro: That’s “Mister” Sexy to you! Oh. Natsumi: You know what? I have better things to be doing today than worrying about you. Fuyuki: I don’t remember getting dressed today… Natsumi: I have to deal with my friends for several hours, *Looks at Fuyuki* and you have a test to fail! Todd: *Outside, flying in a hot air ballon* Come to Todd’s Toilets! The address is 4, 4-!” *Descends offscreen, loud crash is heard, Natsumi’s eye looks out for a moment* Fuyuki: Hey Keroro, I'm gonna jack your stuff. Keroro: *Cheerfully* That's how I make friends! *Sudden realization* HEY!! *Fuyuki and Natsumi leave* Keroro: Well I'm gonna jack your rope! … Keroro: YEAH! … Take THAT, you little shit! *Cuts to Natsumi being chest-molested by Lesbo #1* Lesbo 1: *Lovestruck* Oh Natsumi, I feel your spine in my face… Lesbo 2: Want me to wash that when she’s done? Natsumi: *Uncomfortable* Okay girls! I appreciate the affection, but this is getting uncomfortable. Lesbo 2: *Creepy* Then slip into something more comfortable... Lesbo 1: *wheeze* *Cuts back to Keroro, still on the rope* Keroro: …Yeah… my rope. Now to get out of this damned thing! *Snaps his back* AI COÑO!!! Ok, maybe not! Maybe not… Minor setback… I’m just gonna have to- *Falls to the ground* Keroro: …STILL MY ROPE… *sad* but I miss my Kero Ball… *Cuts to Fuyuki, slamming in the ground* Fuyuki: TEAR DOWN THIS SCHOOL! *Flies up and down hitting the rooftop, grunting* Todd: *Flying in balloon in the background* Nobody’s buying my toilets! *Balloon explodes again, siren blares as he crashes* *Cuts to Natsumi running, panting* *Saburo appears but footsteps run past, Saburo looks over, sad piano music plays and single tear falls from his eyes* *Quick cut away to Natsumi entering the house, takes one step, immediately gets caught in rope trap* Natsumi: *To herself* Okay… pretty sure they didn’t follow me to my hous-SON OF A BITCH! Keroro: *Serious Keroro* SLIIIIDE. So… what do you call a girl dangling by her legs? Natsumi: You little asshole! Keroro: *Jumps onto her legs* Not even close! I can’t have you getting in the way of my plans! *Lower* Plan. *Low* Orders… So I’m gonna feed you to this! *Pulls out monster* Natsumi: Oh my god! What is that thing?! Keroro: Evil Digestive Monster!…Frank…Open up! *Keroro inexplicably flies into the door, Fuyuki floats in* Fuyuki: Whoa. So there is a use for a "twat magnet". Natsumi: Fuyuki, there you are! Quickly, let me down- *crash* *Muffled* You ass… Fuyuki: *Muffled gibberish* you too, Sis! Keroro: *Trying to get up, muffled* nnnn… nnnn… nnnn… I don’t feel like it. Todd: *Outside* Our prices have flushed! *Large explosion* *Keroro immediately jumps up and captures Fuyuki and Natsumi* Fuyuki, Natsumi: Agh! Keroro: Ha-ha! Who’da thought a toilet balloon would save my ass again! That was the day I knew I wanted to be a sergeant. Fuyuki, Natsumi: *Confused* You’re a sergeant? Keroro: *Sly* Didn’t I tell you? Ah’m an alien invader. Fuyuki: I wanna be your friend too! Keroro: *Happy* Okay! *Mood change* Wait! I’m not falling for that again! *Motorcycle revs outside* Aki: *Flabbergasted* Jesus Christ, Todd. Again?! Ugh… *Opens door* Keroro: *In Spanish, nervous*…I’m the house inspector…? *Immediately gets pulled into her breasts* Aki: *Very flirty* Well you’d better be thorough! ~<3 Keroro: *Deadpan* Soy un major yes… Fuyuki: Mom, please don’t hurt him! I think he can become my friend! Keroro: *Turns around* For realzeyz? Natsumi: *Deadpan, in disbelief* You’re fucking serious. That thing broke into our home, captured me and tied me up. And you want to be its friend. Fuyuki: *Dreamy* Don’t you too, Natsumi? Natsumi: …Kinda… Keroro: Well, gotta initiate you! *Knocks him on the head* URGH! Alright, I broke your spine, we’re friends now. *Phone beep* HQ: Hey Keroro, you there? Keroro: Oh…hello? HQ: It’s headquarters. Keroro: *Upbeat* Oh! Yes, Admiral! What can I do for you, sir? HQ: Well, nothing. Just thought I’d tell you we’re leaving, uh… we brought you here to get rid of you. You and your reject platoon. Keroro: …Que? *Explosion* *Keroro turns to the others* Keroro: Familyyyyy! *Credits* *Post-Credits 1 - Todd’s Toilets* I know a guy his name is Todd He sells his toilets to God Don’t buy that George Albert crap! Get a Todd Toilet! … *Explosion* Todd: *In the distance* Two for one sale! *Post-Credits 2 – Tamama* Tamama: Oh, my dear Sarge, I hope you find me soon. I’m so worried; I’ve lost contact with headquarters, I’ve lost contact with Giroro and Kululu… *deep breath* and her hair is spiky… AND BLUE!!! *Sniff* I can’t find my ass… Category:Episode Scripts